We devour a bowl of popcorn in nearly record time as Joe pants all over Harrison Ford for 115 minutes.
Dave: After rewatching a few 80s movies that have almost all aged dismally, we’ve learned a few things about yuppie-era cinema: 1) plot and character development are afterthoughts; 2) non-white people are often little more than props; 3) everyone emotes like they’re bit players in a dinner theatre production in a dimly-lit hall (“I’ll make this face for several seconds, just to be sure you saw it!”). My memories of the Indiana Jones movies had gotten all jumbled up, and I’d all but forgotten the storyline of this one. Except, of course, for the evil effete German’s face melting off, which regularly haunted my dreams well into adulthood. As the film trudged along, I kept waiting for some character development and/or coherent plot, but the closest we get to that is a spunky, smart performance from Karen Allen as Indy’s kind-of love interest. I’ve seen a meme passed around among my bitter, former grad student friends that the real hero of the Indiana Jones movies is Indy’s unseen, overworked teaching assistant, who has to improvise lectures to dead-eyed Archaeology 101 classes while Indy is off seducing women and stealing antiquities. Since Indy spends approximately 2 minutes anywhere near a college campus during this film, that totally scans. (⭐️⭐️⭐️)
This popcorn is one of those brilliant recipes that is far more than the sum of its parts. After popping the popcorn, making the sweet, buttery glaze, and then stirring the popcorn and smokehouse almonds into the glaze, I cheated. I snuck out an almond to taste before the movie started. And it was totally underwhelming. All the salty, smoky almond goodness was gone and it was just a boring, naked almond! As I set the bowl down on our TV trays, I prepared myself to improvise a post-popcorn snack, since the popcorn was going to be disappointingly sweet and not much else. This is where that old adage “cheaters never win” comes in handy. Lo, dear reader - the salty, smoky almond deliciousness hadn’t disappeared, but just seeped into the sugar/butter mixture and coated every. single. piece. of. popcorn. We didn’t even need extra salt - the popcorn board, mavens that they are, have thought of everything. This is the epitome of a perfect, easy, delicious popcorn recipe, and even though we’ve just eaten way too many helpings of it (and probably about three times our recommended daily sodium allowance), I already want more. (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)
Joe: Our friends at the podcast The Rewind Project just released their episode about this film today, so we thought it would be fun to watch this movie before listening. I hadn't seen Raiders of the Lost Ark since I was in my tweens. I loved all Indiana Jones movies at the time, and was a little bit worried that this title wouldn't hold up. To be sure, there's no way in hell a film like this would be made in 2021. The exoticism, colonialism, and othering is pretty difficult to digest. If you can put that aside, it's a thrilling ride. Fast-paced, action-packed, and a hell of a lot of fun, even if it requires an insane suspension of belief (like, how do all those snakes live in that underground tomb, totally cut off from sustenance?). Also, Harrison Ford was (and still is) smoking hot. How anyone was able to focus on their lines in his presence is beyond me. (⭐️⭐️⭐⭐)
I love almonds. I will eat them in any form. Raw, toasted, salted, flavored, ground into a paste, marzipan*, amaretto**. I would eat them on a boat. I would eat them with a goat. There was no way this popcorn was going to fail. There's the sugary hit of the popcorn that, when grabbed with a handful of the hickory-smoke almonds, just about sent me to the moon. In short: this was heavenly. *Marzipan seems to be divisive. If you don't like marzipan and have some lying around the house, please mail to me. ** Who's having a nip of Disaronno while writing this review? This guy. Anyway: (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐)
Popcorn recipe from: The Popcorn Board
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