We kick off Horror Movie Month at the Nerdery™ with a fizzle. The popcorn slightly made up for it, though.
Dave: What happens when you make a book of unconnected short horror stories for kids into a movie? You feel like you went to a weird short horror film fest hosted by Nickelodeon. So many slick, ironic teens who were pretty much strangers to the viewer when they died horrible deaths. Sure, there were a few good jump scares but they couldn’t cover over the patchwork plot that was almost definitely an afterthought. And for all that, the original book was far scarier than the film - maybe I was younger and petrified by anything remotely scary, but there’s something that can’t beat the spookiness of an overactive imagination. This is still worth a watch if you were in the Scary Stories generation and are still a little creeped out by that iconic cover image. If not, go read it instead. (⭐️ 1/2)
I remember years ago when we reached the dregs of the 50 Food Network popcorn recipes that started our blog (our stalwart readers will also remember). We had to eat some weird stuff. This recipe - beef bullion cubes on popcorn with a punny title on an herb that you can’t taste!? - feels like one we would have avoided til it was absolutely necessary. The astronomical salt content (did we need salt on top of the bullion?) made us scarf it down, but the sage and thyme (one of my favorite herbs) were mostly lost in the buttery, salty mix. Even so, there’s a place in our future popcorn cookbook for a bullion-based recipe: it gives a depth of flavor that’s hard to get from butter, salt, and herbs alone. My carping aside, it was delicious. I’m marking it down only because I know I’ll wake up positively parched at least twice tonight. (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)
Joe: Anyone who knows me knows that I have an ardent and steadfast love for the oral tradition and for storytelling in general. Alvin Schwartz's iconic story collections scared the shit out of me as a child, and I was super-excited to see that this film featured two of the most pants-shitting stories from his books: "Harold" and "Me Tie Dough-ty Walker". If only the framing device for these stories worked. Unfortunately, it didn't. Instead, we're treated to a ham-fisted, trope-y "sToRiEs aRe iMpoRtAnt" delivery system that never clearly explains the why or the how. The scares (of which there are a couple effective ones) would have been far more potent if they hadn't been hog-tied to a Nixon-era exterior plot. While it was fun to see spiders burst out of a zit and Harold pitchfork a shitty teen, the sum was never quite the whole of its parts. (⭐️⭐️)
Every time I write a variation of the sentiment "Oh, Kirk Castle, you old so-and-so", it's almost immediately balanced out by a crashing disappointment. For now, though, my money is on the elusive Kirk. This popcorn, despite its idiotic moniker, is tasty beyond belief. The herbaceous sage is balanced out by the saltiness of the bouillon and the butter creates a perfect playground for the flavors to mingle. I was very close to asking Dave to make another bowl. Keep on keeping on, Kirk Castle. (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2)
Popcorn recipe from: 100 Popcorn Recipes by "Kirk Castle"
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark on IMDB.
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