Fire & brimstone! (the popcorn) Viruses & gore! (the movie)
Dave: Even if it seems unfinished, this movie will appeal to any teacher that has stood in front of a classroom and thought “what the fuck!?” It takes the children-as-monsters trope and pretty well maxes it out since in the movie only pre-pubescent kids become flesh-eating zombies. The band of ragtag adults who were constantly a half-step ahead of the hordes of bloodthirsty children had a Scooby-Doo like character: they were all lovable but typecast and a bit wooden. The gore was deliciously over-the-top and the jokes were quick and witty, but I can’t forgive the movie for ending on an unfinished gag. “Where are we going now?” “We’ll go somewhere children hate.” Where is it!? A writer must have written an ending! Apart from that, though, the ending does seem to happen incredibly quickly, given how drawn-out the rest of the film had been. (⭐️⭐️⭐️)
I remembered Penzey’s Berbere spice blend being a little, well, spicy, but had apparently forgotten just how cayenne pepper-heavy it was. Whew! I popped the popcorn, doused it in butter, and sprinkled it liberally with the spice blend thinking: “I want to be sure the popcorn really tastes like something!” Friends, it tasted like fire. Delicious fire, but still. I should mention we’ve also reached the point in our move-out journey that there is not much to improvise with in the kitchen. Every day is like a really low-budget episode of Iron Chef, where they’ve only stocked condiments, canned beans, powdered sugar, and frozen vegetables. So when I was casting about for something to tamp down the spiciness of the popcorn, my options were limited. Luckily I happened upon a can of peanuts that helped a bit. We still went through several glasses of water during the movie, though. (⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2)
Joe: I wanted something funny but I also wanted something exciting. Truthfully, I just wanted a film that required zero brain activity. Cooties fit the bill. Rabid zombie children ripping adults to shreds? Yes, please. The plot is inane (but frankly, with the lax food regulations in this country, it doesn't seem entirely implausible), the acting is over-the-top (given the plot, how couldn't it be?), and the script is eerily prescient (talk of pandemics and quarantine would've hit a little too close to home a couple years ago). Anyway, it was goofy, violent and mindless, but the action sequences relied too heavily on quick tracking shots, shying away from gore - but I think a gore-soaked film would've been much funnier, especially with children. The ending was also pretty dumb. Still. It was mostly funny and exciting, so... refer to the first sentence of this review. (⭐️⭐️⭐️)
Since we're on the brink of moving, we're trying to burn through as much food as we possibly can, including spices. Like last month's popcorn, this concotion was essentially cobbled together with Penzey's spices. Dave's formula: Berbere + peanuts + butter + salt + popcorn? Yes, please. More, please. Oh, my lips are burning. Burningburningburning. More, please! (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2)
Popcorn recipe from: Dave Lewis 💅🏻
Cooties on IMDB.
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